Sunday, July 12, 2015

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Saturday, June 20, 2015

New Vlog!

My Heart Is Heavy

I grew up in a Baptist church. I was there every Sunday morning at 9:30 am for Sunday school, and stayed through the 11 am service. If there was an evening service that week, I was there for that. I was there every Wednesday night at 7:14 pm for bible study. I was married at that church. I love my church.

One of my favorite things about my church is that we have a "come as you are" policy. No judgment. No pretense. If you are in need of spiritual guidance then you are welcome. 

What happened in Charleston, South Carolina on June 17th, 2015 could have happened at my church. My great grandmother would have been there. My grandmother would have been there. My mother, my sisters, My pastor, the man who has been my spiritual leader my entire life would have been there. My heart is heavy. 

Racism isn't dead. A man walked into a church, prayed with people who went out of their way to make him feel welcome and he then executed them. Their only crime, being black. 

I keep hearing people say things like why does everyone focus color or why are you making everything about race and it drives me insane. Black people didn't create the institution of racism in America. It isn't solely up to us to fix all racial issues in this country. We see race because in 2015,  a man walked into a church and slaughtered its members because they were black.  I would be a fool not to think that my race has an impact on how people perceive me. 

I dread the day I have to sit my son down and explain to him that there are people in this world that hate him because of what he looks like. I can't picture the look on his face when I tell him that he has to be twice as good and twice as smart as his white peers in order to have the same opportunities. How am I supposed to tell him that the color of his skin makes people feel intimidated and that in order for some people to accept him he will have to go out of his way to make others feel comfortable? How do I tell him all of that in one breath, and then explain to him that his blackness is something to be celebrated in the next?

This is not a think piece on racism in America.

 This isn't a proposed solution to the race problem in this country.

This is one  black woman trying to make sense of the emotions coursing through her veins.

My thoughts and prayers are with the congregation of The Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina. 

I hope you find peace.